Now it is time to leave all the gunk and rubbish blocking your route to entrepreneurial bounce back. So now avoid approval.
This is the time you are leaving your entrepreneurial grief behind once and for all.
Now we are going to kill off some sacred cows, corporate nonsense and plain babble regarding your entrepreneur success.
You may have some thoughts of your own too. Limited beliefs that have held you back for far too long. Make sure you further scribble your own annoyances about things that have held you back down too. How to avoid approval maybe.
The key message is, now it is the time to let go. Right Now.
“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives.
The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you.
Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance joy, love, fulfilment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.”
Approval and Attention
You don’t need the approval of others OK. You don’t!
In this time of social media Facebook, Twitter and Linked in, there is a global epidemic of approval seeking.
This is a big deal for people starting and restarting in business. It has emerged in all our focus groups and commonly in meetings with Bouncepreneurs.
You will need to make your own path, make your own judgements and take decisions right for you which other people might not like.
Do not have a burning desire for the venture you are embarking on to be approved by those who:-
- Have no stake in your business as customer or supplier
- Should be supporting you anyway
- Have no experience in the area they are talking about
- May not have your best interests at heart
In fact if you are going to be a successful Bouncepreneur you need to let the desire for the approval of others go.
Why is it Vital to Let It Go?
Seeking Approval will Make you Compromise your Gut Instinct
It really will. You must avoid approval. If you feel you have a business idea that will work, check your own facts, do your own business analysis. If once you do this you feel it is a solid course of action – go for it. No one else needs to give you approval or validation. That’s a mug’s game.
The Needs of Your Situation May Far Exceed Your Need for Instant Approval
There is an old Native American story about a husband and wife. Asleep by the fire, a scorpion enters the wife’s mouth. Seeing this her husband jumps up and begin shaking her. He lifts her from the ground and shakes her violently, slapping and beating her body to dislodge the venomous scorpion.
The rest of the tribe look on in horror, cursing the man for beating his wife. Other men start to intervene punching the husband to the ground. Every time he got back to his feet and continued shaking and slapping his own wife. Finally after receiving many blows from the other men of the village the scorpion finally emerged from his wife’s mouth and slid away. His wife was saved and both she and the rest of the village instantly knew her “wife beating” husband was in fact her saviour.
The morale of this story is clear, you will have to forget the approval of others in order to meet the needs of your situation as a Bouncepreneur. Avoid approval always.This may go for your partner, your family, your colleagues (if you take the job or hybrid job pathway)
Disapproval Can Unsettle and Unnerve you
Focus on your own direction, what you think and what you are trying to do.
Remember disapproval is actually an empty bag. But some people use it as a weapon.
As someone who has had their confidence knocked by a business failure you must NOT allow disapproval to derail you. Remember it is a “blank bullet” it can do you no harm. When you let people disapprove of you and cease to care then your personal confidence will soar.
Don’t be Frightened to Disapprove of Disapprovers
When I was starting Bouncepreneurs I had a lot of disapproval for my Kangaroo logo. A lot!
Things disapprovers said were:-
“It’s like bounced payments”…. “It is too Australian” …… “hard to spell”….. “why blue?”
I heard them all. But the logo was free I was broke I liked it. It was a way to take the branding forward. I really sought to avoid approval.
So when anyone tries to criticise my logo now I scythe them down without mercy asking:-
“Where did you gain this terrific branding experience?”
“I don’t think you’ve lost a business so it you won’t get it!”
“I don’t care what you think!”
That logo has become my talisman, my rock and I love it dearly.
Beware of Pack Mentality
Cults like the Nazis show us the power of peer pressure. Another good example was the Millenium Bug. Once a leader emerges they can decide like a King what is law and what is not. Followers often follow that leader blindly out of fear of exclusion or often just habit. They follow to comply to ridiculous levels so as to maintain the good favour of that leader and stay within the boundaries of the cult.
This happens far more in everyday life than we realise. The pack hates those who avoid approval.
But it is essential you follow what you believe to be right, rather than what peer pressure may lead you to do. Stay true to yourself. And your business plan of course!
You can’t control what others think anyway
When you anxiously seek approval, you are really trying to hold onto control. Chances are in your business past you have seen your control slide away. So it is natural maintaining it becomes important. But controlling your bounce back is not the same as controlling what others think of you. Is it?
Simply put, you cannot control what others think so why bother trying!
Practice saying what you think
Once a day say something based on what you think and not what you think is going to be a crod pleaser. Get used to stating your own views in a straightforward way. Practice this and your views will gather increasing gravity and weight for the most important person – you!
Practice pleasing yourself
Go your own way daily. At least once a day. Do something you will be pleased to do at work or at home. Something that pleases you and not necessarily those around you.
Do Something Unpleasant or Say No Once a Day
Get used to being tough. Make it a point to say no or do a task you did not want to do every day. This builds resilience. If you can respectfully and reasonably say NO to someone even better. This is a habit which you can practice and get better at.
It is an important habit to develop for staying within the boundaries of your business plan and in sales/buying negotiations.
But above all AVOID APPROVAL
Written by Michael Allen
Founder of Bouncepreneurs